Saturday, April 14, 2007

Cry Baby Culture, Speaking of Don Imus

This is horrible, maybe even terrible, for me to say but I just have to. It is my way. To say things that shock and awe or simply cause people to wrinkle their noses at me while they look down them, so let me just be out with it. My husband is a Cry Baby. Not to say that he is a blubbering idiot but he is a big friggin' man baby. I know maybe this isn't such a shocking subject but maybe next post I'll tell you about his balls.

There have been many things in the long 10 or so years we have been with each other but it is only now, as I grow as a woman and near 30, that I am actually awakening and taking into account all the things that actually occur in my life. I know that my husband is not the only one. Millions of women are living with men just like men. Men they have to roll their eyes at because they can't seem to find their own slipper, which by that way was just under the chair you were standing right next to (or too, I never friggin' remember and I use lots of commas. Deal with it). I think being a middle child only aggravated the inevitable situation.

If I hear this man whine one more time about me not heating up a TV dinner, for example, for him, because I care nothingfor him ahem, I will pull my hair out strand my strand until I am left with an oozing red patch of baldness. I mean if I woke him up, because yes he was still asleep at 1 PM, he would have simply grumble something at me before falling right back asleep. And it's a TV dinner. I didn't spend hours preparing Fillet fucking Mignon. I spent three minutes in front of a microwave. And then I stirred the potatoes. I beleive my actual retort at the time was" Let me know next time you shit so I can wipe your ass."

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

All seriousness asside

So tonight my son told his bi-racial cousin he wasn't accepting kisses from black girls. I wish he had said something like "Sorry, I'm not into kissing my cousin" because I think the whole relative factor trumps the race one.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Yeah, she's a Republican

One Question Test....

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By
giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which
you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to
honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.


You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around
you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of
biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major
and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is
nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are
houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury..


Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life,
not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the
woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Hillary
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
her under forever. You have two options: You can save the life of
Clinton or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo,
documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women (in her
mind, at least).


Here's the question, and please give an honest answer... Would you
select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic
of black and white?

My initial reaction after reading this?

MOTHER (my mind even used an exasperated playful tone)! This from the woman who think MTV contributes to gayness and wants me to move to Florida. So she sends me email depicting it's destruction. If you could see my face.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

If you didn't know me......

I was just recently asked if I was a glass half full kind of girl. I do not consider myself a half glass full kind of girl, I like to think that I am in fact a realist hoping the glass will get filled back up kind of girl. I like to look at things in the worst possible scenario so that when and if that very thing should happen I will not have been taken by surprise. I heard once that pessimists die younger than optimists but they usually die right. I still hold out hope for the good in mankind and all that shit. I was asked this question while standing watching a group of a dozen or so men enjoying a hump day cocktail after work. They milled about, wreaking of macho. As I watched them someone commented at what a good haul those guys were, as if I had been admiring them in a desirable way. Maybe I should not have responded the truth that I had in fact been standing there wondering which one of those men, dressed in sharp suits and porcelain veneers, would go home that evening and beat his wife. Now mind you I am not a victim of domestic abuse and frankly I am not aware of anyone who is. However if you look at it in statistical sense one of those men is likely to lose it after those cocktails loosen him up and his wife is waiting at the door, disheveled and angry. Judging by the looks I recieved I seriously think my brain is wired differently than most people.

Monday, April 2, 2007

The truth is

The most vile thing you can do to another person, much less a spouse or someone whom you pledge your loyalty, love, and possible admiration for, is to eat on their side of the bed. With the covers pulled back. I must tell you I came to this very conclusion while I pulled chunks of fresh Italian bread apart and smeared the soft fluffy innards on a half stick of sweet salted butter. On his side of the bed. With the covers pulled back.